garlands galore: the actual nuptials and post-party

as i mentioned in a previous post, professional camera crews (video and stills) dominated the landscape at all these wedding-ish events. lights, tripods, personnel everywhere. it was challenging, even for a determined camerabug like myself, to get a lens in edgewise. the post-party, held two days after the wedding, was at night and the small camera i carried was largely useless. hence i offer a smattering here of odd angles and points of view. which, to be fair, is what my world is mainly composed of anyway: odd angles and points of view.

the wedding was outdoors at the gorgeous SHANKARAA FOUNDATION which calls itself a "cultural sanctum... a tribute to all forms of creative expression" (the address is fascinating - try pronouncing Doddakallasandra, Bengaluru). it's a very large green space with cultivated gardens scattered with stone sculpture and large fountains, well integrated buildings and gorgeous lighting everywhere. this wedding was entirely outdoors - especially excellent for celebrating Love in the Time of Covid!! the elaborate decoration and scene production which we'd witnessed on a tiny scale at the groom's parent's home for the Haldi was amped to the Nth degree, positively testosteronic! i cannot even BEGIN to estimate the number of flowers that gave their lives for this event. the sheer volume of EVERYTHING was mind-boggling including attendees who numbered around 750.

i admit, i am NOT an experienced wedding-goer so i only have a handful of american weddings to compare this to. many institutions and cultural agendas feel stultifying to me though i married once myself. the preparation was hell, the wedding was fun, but i never really got the hang of being a wife - just not a good fit for me. but don't get me wrong, i am ALL for other people marrying to their hearts contents. 

there was a dressing room for the women that was a beehive of makeup and sari wrapping and jewelry donning. there'd already been weeks of outfitting the bride with her elaborate accoutrements and now it was showtime. the groom appeared in his princely costume, replete with turban. he got a little makeup and had his vest jewel and sparkling slippers approved. this was my most intimate experience of the wedding. the beforehand part. 

once the bride and groom walked down the stairs, they were engulfed by well-wishers and wedding documenteers. there was a very specific order and form to everything that happened though i cannot claim any understanding of what the pageantry all meant. the ritual itself took place on a large, well-lit stage (the MANDAP), draped with flowers and miles of fabric. people in the wedding party were ushered onto this stage where several PUJARI (prayer offering officiants) conducted all the sacraments. the rites seemed elaborate and lengthy and involved a coconut and heavy garlands that eventually yoked the bride and groom together. those in charge spoke, chanted and sang in languages other than english. admittedly, i might not have been able to understand even if i'd been a native speaker as there was lots of socializing going on during the ceremony - it was almost impossible to hear anything even in the front rows. people milled about and enjoyed the evening air and relished the general and pervasive sense of festivity knowing they'd be able to get a more intimate view by watching the video at some point in the future.

once the marriage formalities concluded, the carnival atmosphere went into high gear. table after table after table offering an over-the-top buffet panoply of south indian delicacies, truly delicious fare, with deserts to die for plus a cart with fresh popping popcorn! we invitees filled our plates again and again. the trees were festooned with endless strings of tiny-bulbed fairy lights completing the atmosphere = part circus, part magic show. the bride and groom, i am told, smiled gamely through a 4 hour receiving line. 

what i observed is: being bride or groom at an Indian wedding is not for sissies. especially for a foreigner. it requires incredible stamina, resilience, endurance and surrender. huge props to my dear friend, the american bride...

swimming pool sized bowl of rose petals

macrame bead and flower screen

aunties plus young gold brocaded cousin

setting up the mandap (traditional wedding canopy)
click link to read description of all the symbolism
https://www.vivahhika.com/6-things-probably-didnt-know-wedding-mandap-design/


like a glorious jellyfish in the sky



contemplative bride 

bride being led to mandap

golden slippered groom

silver slippered bride's mama

thavil drum

nagaswaram horn

bride and her mother plus pujaris

groom and his father

one of the pujari (person who performs the pujas/prayers)

the handling of the coconut

bride and groom share holding of the coconut

gandaberunda (magical two headed bird from hindu mythology)

post ceremony carnival atmosphere

wild wedding whirlwind

wild life / wildlife

i am pondering important and mysterious things about city life in Bengaluru. things that are very different from my city life in san francisco. 

i want to talk about TRAFFIC. and SOUND. and STREET CROSSING. and WILDLIFE.

on the way into the city from the airport, at 4:30am, the driver of the private car that collected us honked his horn every single time he overtook another vehicle. this happened on a very wide and empty motorway. it seemed like unusual behavior and i wondered if he was doing it, in some way, for our benefit - showing off his cautious driving skills. 

but it turns out this is a GENERAL STYLE - EVERYONE who drives in Bengaluru HONKS more or less constantly. and this HONKING creates a kind of WEB OF SOUND that i began to imagine helped keep everyone safe* in unbelievably dense, constant, and seemingly chaotic traffic. maybe it's like GEESE in the sky who honk to let each other know where they are in the formation and to encourage each other to keep up speed. or like some kind of perpetual FORCE FIELD in which the vehicles move in concert (double entendre = the AUDITORY portion and some weird physical HARMONIZING magnetic resonance).

during most hours of the day, anything on wheels is always within inches of striking another vehicle. so the motorcycles honk. the three wheel rickshaws honk. the private vehicles honk. and the bicycles, heaven help them, ring their tinkly little bells and just hope for the best.

PEDESTRIANS are another story altogether. before i left for India, a friend was speaking to someone who'd been there a lot, someone who had lots of cautionary tales. my friend said: "Lori will be okay - she's staying at a 5star hotel" and the other person said: "she will still have to cross the street...!". and indeed, crossing the street is not a insignificant challenge. more like an exciting activity that could possibly be elevated to the level of an extreme Olympic sport! it turned out, having lived in nyc for years (and possibly having lost some important self-preservation braincells during my wild-hood), i was a natural at Bengaluru street crossing! it takes careful assessment and and lightning reflexes – 

spot a pocket and run like hell.

 

another day in the life of an anonymous intersection (not my photo)

(*oops - published statistics list Bengaluru as the 10th most trafficked city in the entire world. 

AND i guess i was dreaming about sound and safety - there are many fatal accidents 

on the streets in spite of the NEVERENDING HONK...)

but

in the midst of this utter cacaphony, there is ABUNDANT WILDLIFE. 

this strikes me as miraculous. in fact, there is so much BIRD SONG that it can be heard, loud and clear, above the din. and the sky is full of KITES. not the paper kind with strings but glorious soaring, RAPTORS. black kites, in great numbers, wheel through the skies. the lifeguard at the hotel pool told us they eat baby pigeons and, given the extraordinary number of pigeons in the city, the appetite of kites is probably the only thing that keeps the pigeon population in check. black kites are also known as "pariah kites".

below, a smattering of Bengaluru city wildlife. 

i will save MONKEYS for a special offering of their own

high flying black kite (distinctive V of tail)

black kite looking for lunch

fluffy legged black kite at the pool

elegant cousin, Brahminy Kite 

used to be called Red Backed Sea Eagle

jungle myna

pandemoniums of parrots near Rest House Park

Indian house crow

astonishing inside-out beehive

rat snake path crosser in Cubbon Park

elegance and extravagance / ancient rituals in the digital age

we participated in three events woven into the Big Indian Wedding extravaganza that brought us to Bengaluru – all amazing and fascinating and intertwined. my understanding of the various activities and their significance is, at best, rudimentary so i invite you to web-search any aspect that piques your curiosity.

 

we were invited, first, to the home of the groom's parents for a HALDI and DEVARA SAMARADHANE. while Haldi is common across India, the Devara Samaradhane (the prayers that are offered) is more local to south Indians and especially to Brahmin castes. the Haldi ceremony, a ritual "holy bath", involves applying turmeric powder to the bride and groom. sometimes thrown, sometimes scattered, in this case it was quite calmly, and with great love, daubed on the couple's faces, hands and feet by many women present at the event. turmeric (the Haldi) is considered auspicious and is used in many aspects of Indian life – in this instance, to cleanse and purify, to prepare the bride and groom for their prospective union and for a prosperous future life together. because the groom's parents come from different religious traditions, the ceremony integrated Catholic blessings along with traditional Hindu ones. the Catholic ceremony The Roce is comparable to the Haldi and involves anointing the bride and groom with coconut milk. 

women appeared to be in charge of most of the ritual activities of the day. 

while all this was going on, there was a crew of men in the street building a remarkable 4 pillared archway out of coconut leaves that are woven together in a fabulous pattern. this type of arch, the MANAVARAI, is sometimes constructed from just coconut leaves and their spines. other times, as happened here, the patterned coconut leaves are affixed to a metal framework which is then adorned with hundreds of fresh flowers (which also adorn the house doorway and the altars used in the ceremonies). pieces of this structure get blessed as it's made and it signifies to passersby, and to the whole world at large, that a wedding is underway.

in addition to witnessing the ritual, it was the first time i was in the midst of a large social gathering of Indians (75+ family and friends). i was very plugged in, adrenalized in social mode, and my sensory apparati were firing on all cylinders. it was hot in the house (to be fair, it was HOT EVERYWHERE, often 90+ degrees). there was food cooking somewhere which smelled divine. there was a swirling spectrum of vibrant rainbow saris. there were hundreds and hundreds of fresh flowers everywhere. and i was bathed in the sounds of Kannada (a south Indian dialect ) along with the lyrical music of Indian-accented English. after the ceremony, lunch was served on a roof terrace - a fabulous sampler of south Indian delights served in tiny portions so we could experience a full panoply of tastes.

along with the ubiquitous army of personal smartphones, there were professional video and photography crews at each event. in this way, the ancient traditions got counterbalanced by contemporary digital reality. the room was crowded with tripods, lens and lights. and it seemed almost more important that the cameras "see" the event than those of us who'd come to witness. digital photos and video will be around in perpetuity while memory is often short and temporary.

lunch was followed by MEHNDI body art for anyone who wanted to get henna painted as this, too, is an ancient practice associated with the wedding ceremony. 

it was a moving day of bonding: the bride and groom to each other and the families and friends to one another.

bowls of flowers and petals everywhere

garlands decorating doorways - fresh flowers, baby pineapples, and unbloomed lotuses

preparing the space

more preparation

cornucopia of rainbow bracelets

table full of ceremonial elements

tiny flame of puja

groom receiving turmeric

bindi'd and bedecked bride beauty

double namaste

sarees supreme, bride towers behind

magnificent mehndi

completion beneath the manavarai (see coconut leaf weaving on the left)

what the whole day felt like